Then And Now

Hank just got called up.
To go to war - or maybe not.
Not all see combat - but all face the possibility.
A crap shoot, just like life.
Which is worse, the thinking or the doing.
This is Now, but much like Then.

I remember a kid back in 67- Oliver called “Ollie”
He was from Mass., loved Dylan and smoked pot.
His face is in front of me, but the last name is lost
Three decades will do that.
The worrying drove him crazy, made him sick.
Then one day he volunteered for Nam to escape the worry
Was it worth it – I don’t know. I never found out.
That was Then but it feels much like Now.

And then there was my brother John.
They held him back, until I returned.
And then the gnawing began in the pit of my stomach.
It would have been better, if I had stayed.
And he was safe – eliminating the worry – at least for me.
That was Then and Now.

My cousin Bobby wasn’t that lucky
His B-52 went up in a ball of flame
Training mission they said –
But he was still dead.
And wouldn’t be, if he had not been there – then.
It was Then but it hurts like Now.

Those that haven’t faced it, will never know.
Back then, we had the draft,
And now the draft is gone.
Now only the LESS privileged need worry.
But then again, they always have.
Then and Now, for them it’s always Now.

So what of Hank?
He should be ok, I tell myself.
Probably stateside duty or at worst a non-combat role.
But for those who care, the worry remains
Odd how the names make it personal.
It was that way Then - it’s that way Now.

And what of the gnawing in the pit of the stomach
Like the bile that builds and is vomited out to purge the poison.
That’s normal. That’s being human.
The mind Railing against the worlds stupidity - Saying
“It was wrong then, and its still wrong now”.

Bill - Jan 2003

In 2003 my friend Hank was called up for active duty. He came back ok, but many did not.