Tenement Memories

It was summer 1953
When we moved in
To be on our own
Away from him and her.
Just Mom, my sister and my brother.

Carol didn’t want to come, she cried.
She stayed with grandma and her friends,
Until the fall and school started.
John and I explored - new neighborhood, new friends.
Not a lot of baggage at six and eight.

It was always hot back then, before air conditioning
You couldn’t breath upstairs, and it wasn’t much better on the street.
The old folks lined up their chairs on the sidewalk and talked.
You’d sit on the stoop and listen for hours,
Or sit on the cars, until somebody yelled at you to get off.

We made up games, to have something to do.
Like sitting out on the fire escape
Me and John and Bobby
Writing down license plates and car makes
Just in case the police needed them – and might ask.

There was one day in early spring, when He visited.
The car pulled up, she was with him.
He wished me a happy birthday,
Handed me a Kodak Brownie, and left.
I have no memories of him after that.

I had to explain to my friends who he was.
That was my Dad. He doesn’t live with us.
Why not? I don’t know. He just doesn’t.
I didn’t know why
I never knew why.

We lived on the fourth floor.
One day there was screaming and crying in the hallway.
Frankie, Johnny and his Mom came out of 4E.
Frankie’s father was hanging from the bathroom steam pipe.
We didn’t understand, we just stayed with Frankie and Johnny.

Another day and another scream
Same floor, different family
Mr. Rosado had stabbed his daughter, blood all over the white tile floor.
She dated a guy he didn’t like and he taught her a lesson.
The police came – again.

Some days were good
Like the time we bought two Christmas trees
We couldn’t afford a big one and the skinny ones were cheap.
I had this idea and told my mom. Put two trees back-to-back, I said.
She thought I was smart and that made me happy.

And I remember leaving 179th street.
I was eight when I moved in and now I was fifteen.
Every friend I had was left behind.
It was supposed to be better but I couldn’t see it.
Nobody every explained anything back then.

Bill April 8, 2003